Aunt Karens Moral « Result #1 on Mar 12, 2009, 9:20pm »
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment... Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.
One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market.
We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen.
Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.
She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets.
Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. Then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the f#ck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking"
When Logic Prevails « Result #2 on Mar 12, 2009, 9:07pm »
Two nuns went out of their convent for a walk. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It was getting dark and they were still far away from the convent.
SL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour?
SM: Yes, I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follows us both. So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down........
Now it was special! « Result #3 on Feb 24, 2009, 10:17pm »
Leather, NFL Regulation, 1963 Chicago Bears-Inscribe The year was 1964.wow power leveling, The place was Chicago. A man I worked with had acquired a couple of all-leather, NFL regulation, 1963 Chicago Bears-inscribed footballs and was selling them at a real good price. My first son was on the way. I bought the football. I had my son's "coming home from the hospital" gift, and it was something truly special. Several years later, young Tom was rummaging around in the garage as only a five- or six-year-old can rummage when he came across the all-leather, NFL regulation, 1963 Chicago Bears-inscribed football. He asked if he could play with it. With as much logic as I felt he could understand, I explained to him that he was still a bit too young to play carefully with such a special ball. We had the same conversation several more times in the next few months,wow power leveling,and soon the requests faded away.
The next fall, after watching a football game on television, Tom asked, "Dad, remember that football you have in the garage? Can I use it to play with the guys now?"
Eyes rolling up in my head, I replied, "Tom, you don't understand. You don't just go out and casually throw around an all-leather, wow gold,NFL regulation, 1963 Chicago bears-inscribed football. I told you before; it's special."
Eventually Tom stopped asking altogether. But he did remember, and a few years later he told his younger brother, Dave, about the all-leather, NFL regulation, 1963 Chicago Bears-inscribed football that was special and kept somewhere in the garage. Dave came to me one day and asked if he could take that special football and throw it around for awhile. It seemed like I'd been through this before, but I patiently explained, once again, that you don't just go out and throw around an all-leather, NFL regulation,wow power leveling, 1963 Chicago Bears-inscribed football.
But it wasn't special anymore.
I stood alone in the garage. The boys had long since moved away from home, and suddenly I realized that the football had never been so special at all. Children playing with it when it was their time to play is what would have made it special. wow gold,I had blown those precious, present moments that can never be reclaimed, and I had saved a football. For what?
I took the football across the street and gave it to a family with young kids. A couple of hours later I looked out the window. They were throwing, catching, kicking and letting skid across the cement my all-leather, wow gold,NFL regulation, 1963 Chicago Bears-inscribed football.
Joined: Mar 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 11 Location: US Karma: 500
Re: Dragon's Eyes « Result #4 on Sept 30, 2007, 7:30pm »
There are two obvious spots open. The dragon who was for a friend but he might have left, the guy that just came in, and then extras go for the group up ahead.
Joined: Mar 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 11 Location: US Karma: 500
Dragon's Eyes « Result #5 on Sept 30, 2007, 7:09pm »
She swung at the little beast flying through the air and he tensed waiting for the sword to crash into the ground. It wasn't a huge one, actually the sword was quiet delicate for a broad sword, but it still must be heavy. He watched as she swung again missing the little creature by an inch. As she swung this time he saw her glaring eyes watch the creature with an angry intensity, as she turned towards him. Her full lips were parted as a growl issued from them, that made him take a step back, because the sound was so animalistic. A loose hair from her messy bun at the back of her neck swung in front of her hazel eyes. She pushed it behind her ear then attacked again. The little beast blew fire at her and as she rolled out of the way he jumped in slashing at what he now realized was a mini-dragon. What the hell was it doing in these woods?! The nasty creature was fast. He circled to find it sitting on the girl's shoulder.
“What the hell are you doing?!” She screamed at him her sword already away.
“It was attacking you. Its sitting on your shoulder! Those things are very dangerous!” He shouted back.
“This little guy couldn't hurt a fly! Go the hell away! We were playing!” He held his sword tightly not trusting the little dragon. He had seen one rip a part one of his men before. They were vicious and quick little monsters, but it sat on her shoulder as contemplating him like he was crazy. She wasn't miffed at all. “What the hell do you want?! Get going!”
“I... I...” He stammered. This couldn't be.
“What is your problem?!” She yelled at him. The dragon licked her cheek to calm her and she smiled sweetly at him.
“I've watched one of those do horrible things to one of my best friends. I watched it tear him apart.” He said, eyes wide in disbelief.
“Well, you guys probably made it mad. Any way, you shouldn't have been any where near it if you are that pitiful at fighting.”
“But, we were both seasoned soldiers by that point...”
“Well obviously you got lucky before. These guys are simple.” She chucked the little dragon playfully under the chin, smiling warmly at it and it blew a ring of smoke at her. She coughed and the dragon clung to her shoulder. “Erm, well not simple...”
He watched her still concerned. This couldn't be. He stood where he was frozen to the spot, watching the impossible pair. The dragon acted like it was as intelligent as a human... He gaped at them as she turned and walked to a horse that he just noticed standing on the edge of the clearing.
“Where are you going?” She asked as she grabbed a cantine.
“Melandorph. I'm checking back in after a mission.” He said staring as the dragon climbed onto the saddle and curled around the horn on it, gripping at it with it's little claws. He had watched claws like those shred human flesh like it was butter. The horse should have been terrified of it. His horse had ran off a cliff because of the beasts. This one acted like it's favorite barn cat was going to sleep on it.
“Ah, the capital city. Magnificent place.” She said as she tied the cantine back to the saddle. “Well, if you would like to come with us, theres no harm in traveling with company.”
“I, uh, yes, sure, I mean, thank you.” He stammered as he shook his head. He watched her mount with ease.
“So where is your horse?” She asked looking down at him.
“Oh, um, well it perished sadly.” She looked at him with disgust until she saw the pain in his blue eyes.
“Well, you can ride behind me, if you wish.” She offered softly holding out a hand. He smiled up at her and took her hand, swinging lithely up and onto the horse.
She hummed a soft tune while they walked. He leaned back on her horse's rump. He sat up straight at the sight of things moving off in the woods just out of his site. She noticed him pressing against her slightly and glanced back at him.
“What?”
“I thought I saw something...” She chuckled at him which made him glare slightly at her. “Have you ever been attacked by bandits?! They are vicious!” She shook her head at him smirking.
“Don't worry. It's just my animals and yes I have fought them before. No biggey.”
“Obviously they were have starved urchins.” He grumbled softly.
“My animals will tell me if there is anyone around, which happens to why you caught sight of them. There is a camp a ways up the road, but it seems to be fine."
Joined: Mar 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 1 Karma: 501
Join my site! « Result #6 on Sept 8, 2007, 8:53pm »
My Little Box
Alice is schizophrenic -- she suffers from hallucinations and psychosis. Her behavior can switch almost instantly from perfectly coherent to disoriented and delusional. She has near genius intelligence, but she is also plagued by confusion and doubt of herself. But there's a place in Alice's mind where she's safe. A place where she is the patron saint and great queen, and is protected at all costs. She can't be wrong in this place. However, to others, this imaginary city isn't safe -- it's terrifying. A darkened city with rusted buildings, a city haunted by creatures of the foulest kind, its streets stalked by strange demons who prey on the unwary. The benevolent beings only come out when they are needed, and light hides in the shadows. This is Alice's world, the city of Miranda. Until now, Alice has been the only human life in Miranda, but now a few others have unexpectedly found a way of tapping into her psyche and so into the nightmare city. These outsiders visit the world often to explore and fight evil creatures, and they are fascinated by the Sacred Balance of good and evil. But they disrupt the balance, for they bring with them the good of the outside world. At first, it's harmless; Alice wanted company in Miranda and she can create more evil beings to restore it. But when the Sacred Balance is tipped a little too much and Alice goes into a coma, locking the outsiders in Miranda, it's a fight to get through the city, because Alice's second-in-command, Jericho, has decided not to right the Balance, but to turn the tide.
A body cannot survive without a mind...with all the beasts in Miranda after them, can the outsiders get through the city and wake Alice in time?
Joined: Mar 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 11 Location: US Karma: 500
Re: Dragon Eye's idear... « Result #8 on Sept 3, 2007, 11:22pm »
Continueing the story... They get attacked by bandits and Sage saves Telea near the end. Sage gets hurt though and she repairs his wing as best she can nurse maiding him. ^That is the end of the short story. Following is for the novel version. He is coming back from crusades which he's been on for 12 years. She is a lady knight coming back from her two years abroad. She had been in the dragon lands coming back with Sage as a diplomat. She is 20 he is 28. The crusades and started when he still had 2 yrs left before becoming a knight. He is coming back will rest then go through the chamber. He will be bitten by a were two months after becoming a knight. She is stuck between Sage and him all this time. Sage becomes jealous as she watches over him after he is ravished by the were wolf.
Joined: Mar 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 11 Location: US Karma: 500
Dragon Eye's idear... « Result #9 on Sept 3, 2007, 11:20pm »
Idear for a short story called Dragon Eyes, which might become a novel...
She swung at the little beast flying through the air and he tensed waiting for the sword to crash into the ground. It wasn't a huge one, actually the sword was quiet delicate for a broad sword, but it still must be heavy. He watched as she swung again missing the little creature by an inch. As she swung this time he saw her glaring eyes watch the creature with an angry intensity, as she turned towards him. Her full lips were parted as a growl issued from them, that made him take a step back, because the sound was so animalistic. A loose hair from her messy bun at the back of her neck swung in front of her hazel eyes. She pushed it behind her ear then attacked again. The little beast blew fire at her and as she rolled out of the way he jumped in slashing at what he now realised was a mini-dragon. What the hell was it doing in these woods?! The nasty creature was fast. He circled to find it sitting on the girl's shoulder.
“What the hell are you doing?!” She screamed at him her sword already away.
“It was attacking you. Its sitting on your shoulder! Those things are very dangerous!” He shouted back.
“This little guy couldn't hurt a fly! Go the hell away! We were playing!” He held his sword tightly not trusting the little dragon. He had seen one rip a part one of his men before. They were vicious and quick little monsters, but it sat on her shoulder as contimplating him like he was crazy. She wasn't miffed at all. “What the hell do you want?! Get going!”
“I... I...” He stammered. This couldn't be.
“What is your problem?!” She yelled at him. The dragon licked her cheek to calm her and she smiled sweetly at him.
“I've watched one of those do horrible things to one of my best friends. I watched it tear him apart.” He said, eyes wide in disbelife.
“Well, you guys probably made it mad. Any way, you shouldn't have been any where near it if you are that pitiful at fighting.”
“But, we were both seasoned soldiers by that point...”
“Well obviously you got lucky before. These guys are simple.” She chucked the little dragon playfully under the chin, smiling warmly at it and it blew a ring of smoke at her. She coughed and the dragon clung to her shoulder. “Erm, well not simple...”
He watched her still concerned. This couldn't be. He stood where he was frozen to the spot, watching the impossible pair. The dragon acted like it was as intelligent as a human... He gaped at them as she turned and walked to a horse that he just noticed standing on the edge of the clearing.
“Where are you going?” She asked as she grabbed a cantine.
“Melandorph. I'm checking back in after a mission.” He said staring as the dragon climbed onto the saddle and curled around the horn on it, gripping at it with it's little claws. He had watched claws like those shred human flesh like it was butter. The horse should have been terrified of it. His horse had ran off a cliff because of the beasts. This one acted like it's favorite barn cat was going to sleep on it.
“Ah, the capital city. Magnificant place.” She said as she tied the cantine back to the saddle. “Well, if you would like to come with us, theres no harm in traveling with company.”
“I, uh, yes, sure, I mean, thank you.” He stammered as he shook his head. He watched her mount with ease.
“So where is your horse?” She asked looking down at him.
“Oh, um, well it parished sadly.” She looked at him with disgust until she saw the pain in his blue eyes.
“Well, you can ride behind me, if you wish.” She offered softly holding out a hand. He smiled up at her and took her hand, swinging lithely up and onto the horse.
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